Unapologetic

I’m successful.
I don’t really know what that means, all I know is I’m proud of where I have gotten myself.
I’m not a pity story or a victim.
I’ve had a good life but I have had to work for the things I have gotten and I have to admit, earning something is a good feeling.
I’m an emotional disaster.
How am I supposed to refer to you?!
Sometimes I find myself with tears running down my cheeks even when I don’t feel sad.
I only worry about unimportant things.
I am worthy. I was once told on a date that even the meaning of my name is “worthy of love”.
I’m strong.
I’m weak.
Music moves me.
I have never been particularly athletic, but I think I could be pretty scappy in a fight.
It would take a lot to get me to fight.
I’m unapologetic.
That’s a lie- I say “I’m sorry” more than anyone I know, yet I’m trying to fix that.
should be unapologetic.
I want you to look at me the way you used to.
I’m a feminist.
I’m incredibly feminine.
I listen to degrading music.
I’m a bit of a romantic with a cynical side.
I have a slight belief in astrology. I’m too much of a stereotypical Cancer to not be curious about the whole thing.
I’m confused.
I’m so happy and know how lucky I am.
I know how lucky you are.
I want to touch peoples’ lives.
One time at a sorority formal I was voted “sister who has changed your life for the better” and to this day it’s the most meaningful thing I have ever been awarded.
I am uneasy without control.
“Hope is a four letter word”
I am loyal to a fault.
I’m thankful. I have equal parts raging confidence and screaming insecurities.
I struggle with some sort of depression/anxiety/something unknown because I have yet to talk to someone about it.
I’m working on it.
You broke me.
I still think about you.
I’m selfish but selfless.
I want to be liked more than I should care.
I’m happy.
I’m figuring it all out.

Job Searching PSA

I think it’s legally responsible to preface this with some general statement about how these views that I write about are my own and do not reflect any company I currently work for or have worked for in the past. Moving on.

As a Recruiter, my life isn’t particularly glamorous. I don’t make the big bucks, I don’t get to wine and dine clients, and I probably won’t be the first people come to when making a big VP type decision. What I do is I evaluate people. I’m a professional judger, if you will (funny because in real life I don’t see myself very high on the judgmental scale, but I digress). I’m a gate keeper. If I have a conversation with you, it is ultimately up to my discretion if I want to move you forward onto any further steps toward a potential career. I have come to think that people don’t understand that concept. It is unbelievable how many people don’t know how to interview well. And I’m talking basics here. Let me explain further.

This is how people make me look in the office sometimes

This is how people make me look in the office sometimes

Recently I was working for a company and had a lady on her way to the interview. It happened to be a snowy day. She called saying she was going to be about 15 minutes late and during the phone conversation when presented with the opportunity to reschedule she said that she was open to that if it would be for the best. Long story short, even though she was told she would be getting a call to reschedule, she showed up anyway. The manager who was going to interview her got pulled into a meeting and when I told her that we didn’t have anyone to interview her, she was incredibly rude. People who walked by noticed the rude-ness. She demanded an interview and while I found someone to interview her, do you honestly think that presents you in a good light?? (Normally if people call ahead and it’s snowing, I give them some slack on being late. I get it. However it does not entitle you to interview if you come in late) So when I called her letting her know she was not selected, she was again rude because she had been under the impression she would be getting an offer. She belittled me and acted like I must not know what I’m talking about. Lady, you cannot strong arm your way into an interview by being rude and demanding, and expect to get hired. Haven’t you ever read an interviewing article in your life? You’re supposed to be nice to everyone because you don’t know who is watching! Not to mention, being rude and demanding to the Recruiter is certainly not a good idea!! Not only did she not get an offer but I will not be choosing that resume out of the bunch in other companies I work for! Continue reading

The Bigger Picture

Thank you to Phil from Duck Dynasty for finally sparking my writing again. I have previously written that I think many people get more flack for being publicly Christian these days than they do being publicly secular. However, here is something for the other side of the fence…

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I would consider myself a Christian Liberal. I share ideals and beliefs with people from all different sides of the spectrum. Meaning that my Facebook feed tends to be a good mix of many different views. When something controversial happens, I notice my Facebook blow up with remarks that cover many different views. And I believe everyone is entitled to their own beliefs. But I truly wish people would realize that we live in a time where there is not a lot of black and white. We live in a time where people are far more celebrated for being true to who they are instead of having a pre-set path, gender role, job etc. And I personally love that! Diversity seems to be tough for some people to swallow, but it is a good thing. Hate is not something you’re born with, it’s something you’re taught.

Duck Dynasty dude has every right to say the comments he made. (And I’m going to focus on the ones where he was takling about homosexuality.. don’t even get me started on the ignorance of his comments on Civil Rights and Jim Crow…) This is a country where Free Speech is allowed. Absolutely true. However, the trick to free speech is that while you may be able to say things, there also may be backlash. I’m sorry if you are surrounded by people who primarily do not believe in equality for homosexual people however you should maybe realize that as a whole, this country is starting to realize that goes against treating all men equal. So although you may think that the “majority” of people disagree with equality for gay men and women, that is incorrect. And publicly making anti-gay comments will probably get more negative results than ones backing you up.

love_thy_neighbor-billboardWhile I do think I see a lot of criticism of Christians for speaking about their belief, praising God publicly, and other things I find completely acceptable… I think there might be some reasoning for it. America is predominately a Christian country, that is true. There are references to Christianity and God in the foundation of our country, that is also true. However, Christians do not get to dictate legal issues based on Christianity. This is called separation of church and state. Something our country was actually founded on. (Which kinda happens to circle back to the fact that just because you personally believe that homosexuality is a sin, it doesn’t give you the right to govern it… and in reality, how often does the Bible talk about homosexuality being a sin vs. things like not judging others, loving people, etc) Here is the thing- there are many people here who don’t even believe in sin! And that’s something you have to accept. This is the reason you also can’t tell people to keep Christ in Christmas. Not everyone believes in Christ. And they’re entitled to their beliefs! Atheism should be just as accepted as Christianity. That’s part of freedom of religion! And you can’t change someone’s beliefs by condemning them. We have got to stop prosecuting people for having different beliefs than us! There is so much pain and tragedy in history by people doing that. When will people learn?

Just to add a little to the flip side- calling people biggots is not going to open their eyes to any prejudice. Being mean to win an argument will not change people’s views. If you want the greater good and you want to actually sway people’s beliefs then you’ll get nowhere by spreading hate.

Dating Contracts

Earlier this year I was dating someone who I cared very strongly for but our actual relationship was a shit show. So many ups and downs and I kept thinking to myself how I wish that there was some sort of agreed upon end date so that we could enjoy our time together but know that when we reached a certain date that our time was up and no one had to “dump” the other. That honestly seemed like the ideal scenario! No one likes getting dumped. I have a hard time accepting getting broken up with and I certainly didn’t want to hurt him either so I just kept wishing that there was an alternative. That’s when I started to wonder about how life would work if it was completely normal to have dating contracts set up very similarly to sports contracts.collegehumor.312b83b026d74a0c4b348e9ea4ac59c7

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Public Transportation

After a hiatus I am back to talk about something that is really grinding my gears… Public. Transportation.

So as many of you know, due to “The Man” holding me down, I no longer have a drivers license. Now that may not stop some people from driving, but after my time in the big house, I will not be driving without a license. So I am now stuck to public transportation. Well, the problem is that I live in Denver Colorado. Sure, our transit system is probably better than Kansas or Iowa… but let’s face it, Denver is not known for its Public Transportation system. However, I do love Denver. So I tolerate it. And also, I don’t have a whole lot of choice. But people really don’t understand the luxury of driving. Ever since I have become a perma-passenger I have really noticed a lot of things about driving culture that I never realized when I drove.

One thing I talk about a lot is how distracted we all are when we drive. It’s like everyone knows how texting and driving is a big issue and will bitch about other drivers saying “ugh they were probably texting or something” but then they turn and start texting while driving (admittedly I was completely guilty of that). People really feel invincible on the roads because it’s such a routine that you don’t realize how dangerous driving can be! But along with people’s driving habits, let me tell you, you don’t understand how much of a privilege it is to drive until you’re not able to anymore. I was inspired to write this post when I wanted to “run to target” really quickly after work. While I was making my journey back to my apartment, I realized it took me as long to take public transportation back home as it would have taken me to FLY to Vegas. That is just obnoxious. And I deal with it because I don’t have a whole lot of options. I whine about it, but that’s the most I can do.

Yes… this is exactly what it’s like waiting for the bus in a snowstorm sometimes. Not joking.

The thing that gets me is how people don’t seem to comprehend how inconvenient not driving is. So many people act like it’s a minor inconvenience. Which, in reality, it is a minor inconvenience if I just had to live my life and not schedule according to anyone else. But this is America. And I am young and social. So I do have to coordinate with other people. And even something like errands need to be planned out. See, public transportation wouldn’t be nearly the hassle it is if everyone else understood how it worked. My life runs according to other people’s schedules. If I have to stay late at work, I need to check it with the bus schedule to make sure my bus will still be running and sometimes I have to pack up and finish later because if I don’t catch the bus, it adds on another hour to what would be a 15 minute drive. If I leave a couple minutes late, that means I arrive usually about 40 minutes late. When I need to “pick something up” for a pot luck or party, I have to account 2 hours, not an extra 10 minutes. What would be a 5 minute drive to the ATM, is a half hour walk, and a half hour back. It’s the fact that people don’t seem to understand how much time is eaten up by waiting for buses or because my little chevrolegs can only get me so far in a short amount of time. And let’s not even START on how often the bus is unreliable, not on time, leaves early before you get to the stop… etc.

The funny thing is that America seems to be one of the few countries who relies so heavily on driving. But we’re pretty spoiled here in America. But when you sit back and think about it, the amount of money we spend on driving is absurd! Between auto loans, car insurance, gas, car maintenance and repairs… It’s incredible! The thing is, most people can’t imagine giving up their cars. And if you DON’T have a car, you’re automatically judged. Usually the assumption is that you’re poor, a hoodlum, or one too many DUI’s. Why is it that public transportation is looked down upon here?? I like to tell myself that I’m really doing it because I’m “going green” and helping the planet. But no one would ever assume that. Usually it’s just assumed that you’re “too poor” to afford a car. Well maybe I’d like to allocate that money to something else. Maybe people who aren’t driving are really saving every penny to let it accumulate and eventually become millionaires.

Anyway, what I want to ultimately say is, excuse me for bitching a lot about the fact that I can’t drive. But it’s the only thing I can do to stay sane. And the longer I go without driving the more annoyed I become at people who act like it’s just a minor inconvenience but they themselves wouldn’t dream of giving up their car. The fact that I go out and still meet up with people shows a lot more effort than you think so I’m sorry if I can’t make it to every gathering. I challenge anyone to rely SOLELY on Public Transportation for just a week and then we can talk about how “at least I’m used to it”. Because when most people are without a car for a week they get a rental or get a ride to work. Start figuring out Public Transportation and what a huge pain in the ass it is to do anything. Then we can talk about what it’s like to be without that luxury for 5 years.

But I have to admit, I did meet my boyfriend on the light rail one night and so I suppose there’s a silver lining in there every so often😉

The BMI is Bullshit

Ugh. I am so sick of hearing people I know who are a little overweight classify themselves as “obese”. You’re not obese. Chunky maybe, but not obese. Sure we all know someone who is obese, but excuse me if I don’t think that 20 lbs over what someone thinks the “ideal weight” for someone’s height is should be in the obese category. And all of this came from that stupid BMI chart.

I’m going to straight up say that the BMI index is bullshit.

Some people might want to speak up here and say “Amanda, the BMI chart was created by a Belgian mathematician who is smarter than you! How can you say that you know more about the BMI chart with your Communications degree?!” Well… I can’t. And if any of you have ever read my blog before you realize I am not one to write out a thesis and show a lot of factual evidence either. I’m just a fun lovin gal stating her opinion!  But the truth is that the BMI index was created in the 1800’s so why we are still using it is beyond me. I am fairly certain we can all agree we have made some pretty big advances in health since then… But I digress.

bmi-cartoon2What I’m here to say is that I am so exhausted with people measuring themselves up to the BMI! (Or well… a lot of things actually. Models, Actresses, exceptionally pretty normal humans, etc.) There are a lot of people out there who use health as an excuse to cover up vanity. Well that’s dumb. Can’t we just be vain instead of blaming some of these things on our “health” (FYI- yes I’d be an idiot to not know that there is a certain extent of extra weight a person can take on before it becomes unhealthy). I’ll be the first to admit my vanity. I want to lose extra weight so that I can look damn good in anything I want. I want to be able to shop in any store. I want men to give me the double take. And I personally am captivated by my own reflection! I’m not going to sit here and tell you I’m looking to lose weight for “health reasons” because I’d say that usually takes the back seat to vanity for most people when it comes to losing weight. Don’t get me wrong, it can be a very valid reason, but let’s call a spade a spade shall we?

I’d also like to know who decided that once you tip into that “overweight” or even “obese” section of the BMI that you are suddenly unhealthy. Let me tell ya, I spent a good chunk in my life in the “obese” section and now I am getting nearer to the “normal” section and I have been healthy my entire life! I know people who have been in the obese section and the doctor will comment on how healthy they are, even for someone of their weight. The BMI hardly able to tell you if you’re healthy or not. It might be a first step on a guess to if you’re healthy, but I am so tired of people using that as an excuse to whine about their weight. Let’s all admit it. We want to be foxy. It’s okay, we all like to be attractive! But stop using the BMI as your scale! It’s not even accurate! There have been many studies showing its inaccuracy lately. So let’s all just agree to let the BMI obsession go by the wayside, deal??

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Shameless plug for my “weight loss supplement” Plexus Slim that made those 30 lbs I lost as easy as pie. Mainly because I was allowed to eat pie… and other delicious foods that you normally can’t on a lot of other diet programs. I love the stuff!
www.amandaduncan.myplexusproducts.com
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More committed to your lunch than your Girlfriend

Alright, it’s time I rant about this subject.

I don’t know if it’s just me or if there are many women in the same position but for some reason unknown to me, I’d say 80% of the men who have shown interest in me over the last year have had a girlfriend. Or they had a girlfriend when they first started talking to me. Or they are “single” but their facebook says that they’re in a relationship. Or who knows but I think you all get the point. I seem to be a magnet for unavailable men. Now I don’t know if I put out some sort of “home wrecker” vibe but I can assure you, I do not intend to wreck any homes.

I guess it has really started to sink in as time goes on how prevalent it is. I’m not going to get into all of the details or anything but I have started to see how so many men will push their limits while they have girlfriends. I have said before that it is the biggest joke of our time that men have been able to convince women that being viewed as a sex object is flattering. It’s not! Or at least not to me. And there is always an excuse as to why they are able to “sext” with women as if that’s not cheating. Like asking for naked pictures of girls you know is somehow okay. Why on earth would sending dirty texts and pictures while you’re in a relationship be okay??

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I’m not claiming to be a saint in any way, nor am I saying I’m completely innocent in my past. But I have been approached by men numerous times who are clearly not acting as if they are committed to someone. I have seen men more committed to what they are eating for lunch than their girlfriends. When did this happen in society? I mean, infidelity has been around forever. But is it just me or is it becoming more and more prevalent and even to an extent, accepted? Continue reading